From the Emside Out's Blog

Life just started, it seems, so let's figure it out together.

Can’t Sleep September 11, 2009

Filed under: Pregnancy — fromdeemsideout @ 4:18 am

I’m filing this under “pregnancy”…. This huge belly of mine is uncomfortable enough to not allow me to go back to sleep (most nights) after the 2nd or 3rd potty run. I”m not what you would call “wide awake”…but I ain’t sleepin neither! (I know that was grammatical error, intentional!)

I lie there in the bed thinking of how wonderful it will be to have my baby girl here with us (out of my belly), and many other things going through my mind at once. i.e.
how to get things to sell on etsy?
where will we eat tomorrow?
what else do I need to do tomorrow?
i’m so glad I have good relationships with ALL my sisters in law (there are 6).
what will Laila look like?
why did my mom pass down this gene of surviving on very little sleep?
You know….things like this. And the end result? Laying awake most nights, too afraid to get up and do something, because what if I can go back to sleep…..


I think we have 1 more week of waiting for our Laila, and I know I’m sure excited. I’ve had more emotions this week than can be healthy, and it scares my precious husband. I have literally been through all the big emotions in just 3 or 4 days. An example?

Last night, Greg and I were lying in bed watching tv. He likes to do impressions of Ernie from George Lopez, and he had me cracking up! It was pure enjoyment of my husband. I was laughing so hard that I got the giggles (that’s what we call it). I could not stop laughing no matter how hard I tried. The giggles quickly turned into uncontrollable tears. I’ve never experienced anything like this. I went from extreme laughter to total disappointment. And I ended up crying myself to sleep. Greg could do nothing to console me, so he just held me and prayed. He’s honestly the best husband in the universe….way more than I deserve! But I am so thankful everyday for what God has given us.


Why was I so disappointed? I had gotten my hopes up that I would be dilated this week, and Dr. Wilson would be willing to induce my labor on Thursday (that was today). And if you read the previous blog, you know how that story ended. So last night, when I felt like we should be getting the last things together to go to the hospital in the morning, we were lying in bed watching george lopez, just like any other night.

So I’ve about gotten over that disappointment and I’m looking forward to the next appointment now. No matter how many times Dr. Wilson tells me he won’t induce (if he says no again), I know that Laila will be here soon. And I can’t think of anything more exciting than holding MY daughter!!!!! I say “my” not to leave out my husband, but to emphasize how exciting it will be to FINALLY be a mom. I have felt for most of my life that my real purpose in life, the reason God made me, was to be a mother….and guess what! it’s here!!!!!!!!!!!

These are the women who have taught me the most about Godly mothers!
These are the women who have taught me the most about Godly mothers!

 From left to right:: Aunt Esther (Grandmother’s sister), Grandmother (mom’s mom), Gram (dad’s mom), Me, Momma

See….tears again!


I’ve added more things to the etsy shop in my non-sleep, and I’m going to add 2 more pieces of art now, and go back to bed. Maybe I can get a few more hours of sleep.

Thanks for reading and commenting….writing out my feelings really helps me (even if takes a day or 2 to let it sink in).

Visit BRe and Crackers and spread the word!


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